Conversations

[09:33] Ash: many people have told me
[09:33]Ash: there is no point in convincing brainwashed christians
[09:33]Ash: but i keep saying to myself but Lisa is intelligent
[09:33]Ash: she is smart
[09:34]Ash: im sure she sees all the nonsense
[09:34]Ash: but i guess its too deep in
[09:47]Ash: im sorry
[09:48]Ash: i hope i didnt offend you
[09:48]Lisa: no its fine
[09:48]Ash: i just care about u
[09:48]Ash: and its hard to see someone so bright
[09:48]Ash: see
[09:48]Ash: i dont insult YOU
[09:48]Ash: personally
[09:48]Ash: lol
[09:49]Ash: just what you believe in
[09:49]Ash: haha
[09:49] Lisa: great
[09:49] Lisa: though i know you dont mean it,what i believe is who i am
[09:50] Ash: ok
[09:50] Lisa: its ok
[09:51] Ash: well
[09:51] Ash: as long as you're happy
[09:51] Lisa: yep

This was my conversation with Christian this morning. How annoying. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to this or how I'm supposed to react for that matter... It's not offensive but it is. I think that we are both coming from opposite ends here trying to convince the other. And I know that the cross is foolishness to those who don't believe, but its frustrating sometimes. And I know that it really pisses him off that I have a faith in God and that I adhere to these 'rules' and customs that he doesn't. Apparently it is just something that makes one feel good about stuff. How annoying. I don't get out in the world enough and now I remember why. It frustrates me and now I'm just sad. I love my friend and I can't do anything about it. We are never going to be true friends. Can it really be a true friendship without Christ? no. Just sad. Sad that he doesn't know God and His awesome power. A good thing that came out of this conversation is that I just feel like I have no where else to go except to God. To know God and to know that I am loved by Him is great, but it doesn't keep my heart from breaking, though I wish it would. And its a good thing that I am sad about the situation because it means that God is really working on my heart in this situation, caring for others, giving me a heart for the lost kinda. Another answer to prayer! Praise God!! I am trying not to harbor bitterness. Its hard to show love when your upset, sad and slightly bitter, to put it nicely. He really did insult me though I know he didn't mean it personally he just doesn't get that my faith is me, so if you want to talk crap about my faith, you will likewise talk crap about me as well. Such great things. Who knew? It is slightly helpful to write it out. And I dont really want to go to lunch with him, but I do. I'm like what do I do without him? Nothing. Great. And I don't want to be mean, I would rather show Christ's love and continue to love him though its hard. And I guess thats my prayer for today that the Lord will help me to show His love to others despite their criticism of Him. When people criticize the Lord, its hard not to take personally. I know that Gos is more than able to defend Himself, and even further than that doesn't need to defend himself because he is the creator and maker of all things. He is entitled to do what He wants. If he wants to create a world that is made purely to bring Himself glory, than great. He could wipe us out right now and be completely just in doing so. I mean I find myself trying to defend so many arguments in one conversation. Why would a good God do this? Or why doesn't he do that? or I don't like that idea of God? (its a good thing you aren't God then), or That doesn't seem fair...etc. And what we have come to many times is that what it really comes down to is faith. I can't describe faith or how exactly God has worked in my heart to bring me to Him. I can describe circumstances and events, but really, you have to be open to faith in general. I can't make you believe in God as much as I want to....I think I'm done ranting about this for now :)